he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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