FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
