Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
