coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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