On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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