I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
