Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
