Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
