Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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