The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
