This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
