I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
