She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
