laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
