Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
