So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
