guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
