Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
