I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
