And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
