please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
