I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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