there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
