dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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