Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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