If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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