If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
did i walk over a car last night?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
