He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
