gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
