So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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