Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
