Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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