Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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