I want to stick my p in your. b.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My feet surprised me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
