My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
