whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
