need another drink. this is the easiest way
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
