check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
