I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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