I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
