Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
