How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
