I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
