South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
