Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
