oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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