How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
