That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
