Christians are straight up FREAKS
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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