I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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