So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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