dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
