it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
